She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
