Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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