You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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