yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
