yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
