What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Boobs are out for the taking
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
