Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I am naked and annoyed.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
