it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
