I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
