Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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