It's Friday. Sex?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
