okay pat passed out under dana's car
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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