I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
