SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
