my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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