What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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