He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
