Plan B is the new Plan A
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
