she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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