So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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