I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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