i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
