whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
