He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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