Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize