I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize