READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
