How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
