I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
