gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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