Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
