I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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