I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
