i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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