I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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