What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize