You can't motorboat a personality
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
