I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
