And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
