Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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