She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
