Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
