somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
