He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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