i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
