Michael Bay diarrhea
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
