the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I understand Curling. That high.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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