I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
