So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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