I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
