I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
