All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
