whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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