i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
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Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
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I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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