The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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