get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
It's never too late to be topless.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
