these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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