Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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