Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize