Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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