I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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