Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
